ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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