New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
