Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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