I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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