we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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