There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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