i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
