Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
