I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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