North Korea, Best Korea!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize