I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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