the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He passed out mid-signature
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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