my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
