Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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