he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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