? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I need a beard to bite.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
