I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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