Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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