this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
love makes seman taste better
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
