Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
