And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
