One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
