He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
