Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize