I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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