White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
