Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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