some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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