Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I didn't notice because vodka
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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