everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
