It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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