We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
