So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
