i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
