no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
