do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
