so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
