the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
