mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
