Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
