grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
