Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
