RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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