Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
