i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
