Say something about gay babies.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
