Its about making memories worth repressing
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
