Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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