My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
