i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
