Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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