i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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