I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
