I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
