i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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