You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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