This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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