i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
